Sacrifice
by G-girl Venus
Summary: A rain storm dredges up memories from Duo's past. Bad summary, i don't know how to summarize it...


**_ Sacrifice _**

**Disclaimer~ **Still not mine... ... ... but if I had a million dollars... ... ... it probably still would not be mine... 

**Warning~ **Yaoi, angst, you may want to get out the tissues...

The rain pounded down upon the pavement, it was truly storming, which was a rare occurrence on the colony. It wasn't often that the weather regulation system found reason for such a downpour. The water cascaded down on the people, who were running every which way in attempts to find shelter. All but one. One lonely figure stood in the cold onslaught, staring off into the air, or so it seemed. He didn't seem to notice the people running by him, or the artificial thunder that crashed through the air. The rain soaked his clothes, causing the fabric to cling to his body like a second skin. His hair was plastered to his face and neck with he additional weight, and the water running off it in small rivers obstructed his vision. But still he remained focused on the empty space before him. The area was covered in debris and dirt, garbage covered the ground as well, making it seem like a regular dump site. His eyes searched the pile, scanning for something unknown. 

There were old pieces of wood lying about, covered in rain and mud. With the wood was glass, colored and clear, shattered from it's original form. The eyes stopped, resting their gaze on one particular piece. A long strip of the glass had survived, preserving part of the whole picture it once showed the world. A hand, out stretched, along with a long blue robe and a few stands of hair were all that could still be seen, but it was enough. 

~~~

"Why do the windows have pictures?"

"So that the Saints and others can keep watch over the people." The old Priest answered, hoping it would satisfy the child's curiosity while he cleaned.

It seemed to work, the small, long haired child was quiet for a few moments, but another question soon followed.

"I thought they watched everyone from Heaven." 

Father Maxwell sighed, but smiled. His little ward was always full of questions. He stepped down from the ladder he had been standing on and motioned for the child to sit by him on one of the pews. "They watch us from many different places."

The child turned to look at the window that had just been cleaned. It was one of the woman he had been told was the Virgin Mother. He didn't quite understand what that meant, but he knew that the man hung on the cross was her son and that he was the son of the God that Father and Sister always told him about. She wore a long blue robe and her hands were reaching out. He didn't know if he believed that she was watching over him. Why should she care? But he did think that she looked very kind and gentle, and that she made him feel warm inside, like a hug.

"Do they keep bad things from happening?"

"They try."

~~~

Violet eyes glistened slightly at the fond memory, but the tears threatened when they fell upon a small metal box. It was covered in black ash, stained for all eternity. He remembered the first time he had ever seen the small chest.

~~~

Sister Helen sat quietly on her bed, the small box open on her lap. The child peeked his head in the door, his face covered in dirt and a fresh bruise appearing on his cheek. He was careful to be quiet, not wanting to draw the attention of the Nun. Her soft green eyes lifted; however, to meet his violet gaze. The eight year old gasped and jumped back into the safety of the hallway. He quickly tried to decide what to do next but was interrupted by a calm voice.

"Duo, you can come in."

The child peeked around the corner once more, biting his lip. "I don' wanna be a bother," he replied timidly.

The young woman smiled, "Duo you know you're not a bother to me ever. Now come in here."

He shuffled into the room, keeping his eyes on the floor. He didn't want her to see the tell-tale sign that he had been in fight, but at the same time wanted her to comfort him like she did when he would trip and skin his knee. Trying to think of what to say he eventually settled on the ever versatile, "Hi." 

"Duo is something wrong?" The soft voice was too much to resist. He suddenly burst into a babble of explanations.

"I'm sorry! I didn' mean to get into a fight but the kids were pickin' on me an' callin' me names and they were sayin' mean things about you and Father and I jus' couldn' take it I hada make um stop!" The tears flowed down his cheeks, turning them red as they traveled. Duo threw himself onto the Nun's legs, latched on and cried. He was afraid of what she'd say. She was always telling him how fighting never solved anything and now he was scared that she would be mad at him for not doing as she said. So it was a big surprise when two arms gathered him up into her lap. Soft hands stroked his chestnut hair and a kiss was placed on his forehead.

"Don't cry little one, don't cry. It's alright."

Duo sniffled and looked up at her, rubbing at his eyes with the back of his fist. "You're not mad at me?" he asked still trying to calm himself.

"Of course I'm not mad at you. Maybe a little disappointed, but not mad." Sister Helen answered, wiping away a stray tear. "I'm not glad that you had to fight but you did come to me and tell me so that shows that you're sorry for what you did. And that makes me proud of you." 

The child stared at her for a few moments longer trying to decide if she was really telling the truth. When no further reprimand followed, he flung his arms around her neck and held on as tight as he could. When her arms tightened around him as well, he smiled.

~~~

The memory made his heart clench, how he would have treasured all the hugs that were to come after that if he had only known. The thunder and lightning continued to crash and dance above his head, while the rain kept the steady beat. The air had turned cold, but he found it strange that he didn't feel all that cold. Even though he knew he was soaked to the bone and that his clothing was like ice. All he could feel was the fire that was replaying before his eyes.

~~~

His small feet slid on the pavement as he rounded the corner. He slipped and his legs were suddenly no longer underneath him. His face hit the ground when his hands failed to catch him, but the pain was ignored as he scrambled back to his feet and took off at a run again. He could see smoke rising into the sky, and the flames that licked at it's edges. One more corner and he came face to face with his own worst nightmare. 

Maxwell church was at the center of the fire, glowing eerily in the dusk. The doors in the front appeared to be bolted shut, only the smoke was able to escape. The stained glass windows cast the fiery glow over the ground outside. But the sounds were what kept the child glued to his spot on the sidewalk. He could hear the wood creaking and giving way as it disintegrated, the glass cracked under the heat and pressure building up, and the screams of the people inside echoed off the walls. 

The eight year old ward stood, frozen. All he could do was watch. Watch as his home, the only home he could remember, burn to the ground. Watch as no one came to help. Watch as everything that had represented hope and love in his life blew away with the wind.

~~~

In that same spot, ten years later, was where the boy was once again caught in the horrible nightmare. The ruins of the church lay before him, all that was left of his first experience of being happy. The ruins that lead his life to the path it had taken, that of war and destruction. The rain continued to fall, and he couldn't help but think how helpful a storm would have been on that day. A storm to cool the flames, to extinguish them, to stop them. He was partially aware of the water running in his eyes, although he couldn't determine if it was from the rain or his tears. His body was cold, he could feel that now, he was shivering. But he couldn't move, he couldn't bring himself to leave that spot. Here he was surrounded by memories, good and bad, and he wanted to hold onto the good ones a while longer. It was when his vision began to gray around the edges that he felt the two arms, filled with heat so that they felt like fire against his skin, slide around his waist. Then he let himself slip into the comfortable darkness that called to him.

******

Heero swore as he kicked the door to his shared room with Duo closed. He had barely thought anything of it when Duo had said that he was going for a walk, but after two hours without him returning the ex-Wing pilot began to worry. A storm had started, which only happened when there was a malfunction in the weather machines. His lover had been gone for too long for his liking.

Braving the storm raging outside, he had searched all of Duo's normal haunts. But he wasn't in the park and he wasn't at the bar, he wasn't anywhere he should have been. It wasn't until Heero decided to take the longer route back home that he had found him. The baka was standing in the rain, staring off into space. The Japanese teen was about to storm over to his koi and reprimand him for being so foolish when an object caught his eye. In the center of the rubble the other boy seemed to be staring at was a large metal cross, rusty from years of exposure. It was then that he realized what the site must have been.

He ran across the street, intent on convincing the American to come back home with him. Duo didn't even notice his approach though, and when Heero had slipped his arms around the boy he had almost immediately collapsed.

Which brought him to the situation he was now in. Cradling a soaked Duo in his arms he walked into the room. He set the boy on the small couch in their room he began to remove the drowned fabric that clung like a sheet of ice to his boyfriend's skin. Violet eyes stared into the air, vacant, even with the regain of consciousness. Heero struggled to get the clothes off the unresponsive boy while at the same time worrying about his chattering koi. Duo was awfully cold and the Japanese boy was sure that he had gone into some state of shock. Finally, getting the shirt off he moved onto the pants and shoes, wanting to get Duo under the covers as soon as possible. As the boxers were pulled off from around the boy's ankles Heero stopped for a moment, a soft whisper reaching his ears.

"H-heero?"

Cobalt eyes looked up greeted by semi-aware violet. "Duo?" the dark haired boy asked not sure if he would actually get a response.

" 'm cold." The words were quiet and shook as his body was suddenly violently wracked by a chill.

Heero stood and wrapped his strong arms around the feeble body, "Shh koi," he said in a soothing tone, "It's alright." He lifted the boy with ease and proceeded to move him to their bed, placing him down with a gentleness that could not be matched. He quickly relieved himself of his own wet clothing then climbed onto the mattress, pulling the covers up over himself and Duo. 

The shivering teen had curled himself into a tight ball, Heero put an arm around the slender waist and pulled him close. At the contact Duo stiffened for a moment, then relaxed allowing himself to be held against the heat of his lover's body. His cold skin drank in the warmth and the violent chills became few and far between although not gone. As he lay there in the silence his thoughts returned to those of earlier. Tears began to trial down his face and he buried his head into Heero's warm chest to try to muffle the sobs. 

The short haired boy noticed the change and tightened his grip around the other boy. Speaking softly he said, "It's alright koi." He placed a kiss on his lover's still damp forehead as a small reassurance. "Don't cry." 

Duo shook his head. "No, it's not alright." Another sob slipped passed his lips. "I failed. I failed them." 

The statement caught Heero off guard. "What are you talking about? You haven't failed anyone." 

"Yes I did! I should have done something! I should of... ..." his voice cracked as he tried to get the words out. 

The ex-Wing pilot pulled away slightly so that he could look the grief stricken boy in the eyes while still maintaining maximum body contact. "Duo, you were eight, there wasn't anything you could have done. You weren't expected to have done something." 

Tear filled eyes stared back at him, "No, Father Maxwell always said that God and the Saints protected the people, that everything had a reason for happening. They were such good people, _I_ must have done something wrong for them to have to suffer like that, I know it wasn't to punish them." The crying continued. 

Heero thought for a moment, then reached up to brush the damp bangs out of his lover's face before replying. "Duo, you weren't being punished, how could you even think that? It was just a terrible tragedy, brought about by war. Nothing more." 

"But there must have been a reason! There must of been, Father Maxwell said..." The sentence was never finished, as the distraught boy was once again over come by sobs. 

Heero was a loss. He really had no idea what to say to make this better. Duo was so convinced that there had been a reason for the Maxwell Church fire, in his current state he wasn't going to have his mind changed, but he also wasn't going to get any rest until he calmed down. He settled for just simply holding the teen for a few moments while he thought about this. He was completely thrown by the actions and emotions of the boy who usually looked on the bright side of things. But there couldn't possibly be a bright side to what had happened ten years ago, could there? The Perfect Soldier started to go through all the facts, comparing and contrasting everything that had happened, when it finally hit him. Now all he had to do was make Duo believe it. 

Duo continued to shiver and shake in his lover's strong embrace. The cold of the rain and wind had yet to leave him, despite the fiery skin that he was pressed against. His eyes shot open as he was suddenly rolled onto his back. He stared up at the young man now leaning over him, although they were still close enough that he could still feel the heat from the other body. "H-heero?" he stammered, not sure what he had done to warrant the change. Cobalt eyes locked with his violet in a way that Duo knew he wouldn't be able to look away from. 

"Duo did you ever think that maybe there was a greater purpose to the tragedy that happened ten years ago?" Heero asked, his voice calm and soothing. The American wrinkled his brow in confusion, then was struck by another violent chill. His koibito dropped himself down on his arms some more so that more of his body touched the frozen boy beneath him before continuing. "You said that everything had a purpose, a reason, right?" He waited for Duo to give some sign of agreement, receiving a small nod after a few long moments. "Did you ever think that maybe something good came out of it?" 

"Heero! how could you... ...?" Callused fingers were placed on his lips, effectively quieting him. 

"Listen to me first." It was a command even though the level of the voice never rose. "How many people have been saved because of that fire Duo?" The fingers remained where they were, not giving the opportunity for an answer. "The answer is millions." 

"Heero I don't understand." Duo said from beneath the hand. "People _died._ No one was saved. They all died!" The beautiful violet orbs welled up with tears again. 

The Japanese teen shook his head. "People were saved because of it. If there had not been a fire, then you would not have become a Gundam pilot, and we might not have won the war. It could be that God sacrificed them for the good of the rest of the world." 

"I killed people in the war Heero, you seem to have forgotten that." 

"But how many were _saved_? You were always the one saying you fought so that other wouldn't have to. And those are the people you saved." 

Duo shook his head, clamping his eyes shut. He turned his head away from Heero but only for a few moments, because the hand that had been on his lips was then under his chin guiding his face back to the brown haired boy. "Heero... ..." 

"And there's one more person you saved. That person is very glad you did too. Me." The braided boy was shocked and his faced betrayed the emotion. Heero continued, "I would have died in that war Duo, I had long give up on ever succeeding, but you gave me something to live for. You showed me how to live. You are the reason I survived all the battles. And I never would have met you had you not become a pilot. Although I would do anything to have spared you all the pain it caused you, I am grateful that it lead you to me." 

The ex-Deathscythe pilot sniffed, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to stream down his face. He stared at the boy above him in disbelief, "That's sucky logic Hee-chan." 

"But it's true." 

Duo smiled a little and wiped his eyes on the back of his hand. " Do you really believe that? That I saved you?" 

"You did save me." 

"I think now you've saved me. I don't know what I'd do without you Hee-koi, you're everything to me." 

Heero smiled the small smile that only a few had seen and leaned down to kiss the beautiful being beneath him. "Aishiteru." 

"I love you too." 

Heero rolled back so that he was next to his love again and pulled him close, kissing him again. 

Duo nestled his head into the crook Heero's neck, still a little cold. "I still miss them though." 

"I know." He brushed his hand over the wet braid. 

'You'll never leave me will you?" The question was soft an almost went unheard. 

"Never." 

"Good." The long haired boy snuggled up as close as he could get and soon his breathing evened out and he fell asleep, safe in the arms of his lover. 

Um... ... ... any good? I needed to get some sap outta my veins, I've bee working on D&L for too long. I hope this was decent, I wrote it off the top of my head and although I read back through it I can never tell until people give me comments... ... so please tell me what you thought?? 

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C&C PLEASE!!?? 

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